Elephants And Tea - March 2021 - 44

Support

CAREGIVERS

borhood set up a webpage for your loved
one's treatment with pictures and a general
description of the current situation. Then,
either you can go into the site when you want
to share news, or you can email or text your
point person what you want posted.
You can set up a site in a variety of ways
from creating a Facebook page to utilizing
the popular Caringbridge website at www.
caringbridge.org.
Hospital delivery
When you are in-patient, ask for friends and
family to deliver your favorite take out or, if
your loved one is stable, ask them to bring a
picnic and their family to the hospital for a
date in the hallway or lobby! Check with your
hospital regarding their particular rules for
hanging out.
Visits from friends broke up our day
beautifully when our daughter was inpatient as well as my Daddy. Having a visit
to look forward to, and enjoying a meal
together either outside or in a quiet hospital corner (not the patient's room) is an
awesome change of scene and quite fun for
everybody! And, it gives you the chance
to take a walk outside and breathe, cry,
regroup and come back a little restored for
the rest of the hospital visit. Invite those
friends that you know will 'bring the party'
in terms of attitude and fun.
Special Treats!
In the midst of this marathon what would
be a treat just for you? Massages at home?
Mani-Pedi coupon? Free babysitting? Now,
let the world know. Or one good friend that
can spread the word.
Ask for what you DON'T need
As important as it is to know what you do
need help with, it's equally important to
know what you don't need. Well intentioned
people, and some not-well-intentioned folks,

can really mess with your mojo. So grab
some coffee, find a cozy chair, and jot down
your personal needs-list. Here's some ideas
to get you going from our personal list:
*	 Please don't refer to my child, parent,
partner as 'sick '. Their cancer is in
remission and they are 'in treatment'
*	 Please come to our home when healthy.
If you are sick, our person will get
sicker and likely end up hospitalized.
Think COVID-protection quarantine.
*	 When you come to our house, please
take your shoes off by the door and
wash up (sounds strangely normal in
covid times!)
*	 Never, ever say " I don't know how you
do it " . Neither do we. Instead say: " You
are doing an AMAZING job. Would
you like a latte from Peets today? "
*	 Never, ever say ; " I cou ld n't do it "
(referring to a poke, hospital stay or
cancer in general). And you think we
can? Instead say: " You are a Warrior
Goddess/God - I've got your back! "
*	 Never, ever say; " God has a special plan
for (fill-in-the-blank name) " . God (or
whomever/whatever you believe in),
didn't create cancer and give it to my
child. Or yours. God is hope and light
and love. That's it.
My friend reminded me that I sent out an
email early on about what not to do and say
right after Cecilia was diagnosed, and that
it really helped our friend group immensely.
See?! Don't be afraid. Help people help you.
Cancer is scary. And sadly, it scares some
people away when you need them the most. If
you've done your best to be open to help, and
are specific about what you need and don't
need, and a friend or family member is still
MIA, then it might be time to part ways. You
need your tribe 100%, for better or worse.
That should get you started, and if you
remember nothing else from this article,

please simply remember to say YES. Allow
people to come into your life and take everybody up on any offer of help. You will
be lifted up and stronger for the journey.
Remember, you don't have to do it all and
be the hero. You already are. l

" Remember to say
YES. Allow people to
come into your life
and take everybody up
on any offer of help.
You will be lifted up
and stronger for the
journey. "

L O OK FOR MOR E SPE C I F IC S T R AT E GI E S , A DV IC E A N D SU PP ORT A B OU T L I F E I N T H E C H I L DHO OD C A NC E R WOR L D @
P OSI T U DE L I V I NG ON I NS TAGR A M A N D P OSI T U DE , E M P OW E R I NG PA R E N T S OF K I DS W I T H C A NC E R , T H E B O OK , C OM I NG S O ON !
L IS T E N AT H T T P S:// W W W.C U RTC O.C OM /A MOY T-19 7-L AU R A-DE K R A K E R-L A NG -R E E
©2 0 2 0 L AU R A DE K R A K E R L A NG -R E E . A L L R IGH T S R E SE RV E D.

44

ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
MARCH 2021


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Elephants And Tea - March 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Elephants And Tea - March 2021

Contents
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