Elephants And Tea - June 2021 - 16

Dear Cancer,
HEALING
Dear Cancer
What an unforgiving companion you are.
So nonchalant,
so willing
to hollow out dreams.
I remember bending
backward with the force of you;
my 29th year contracting,
distilling itself into
the bitter elixir of chemo,
the lethal taste of tears.
Who knows how long you'd planned this trip,
what route you took to get here?
Sometimes
I catch myself harboring
a timid disbelief that you ever
actually existed
within me.
But
I always find proof.
Hello old friend,
You stole a piece of my identity. You stripped me from my truth.
You fought me with spite. You kicked me when I was down. You grew
big as I grew small. You laughed as I cried. You lived while I was dying.
You were strong when I was weak. You were satisfied when I was
starving. You battled with an army of soldiers while I stood alone in
fear. You didn't care about tomorrow while I only dreamt of tomorrow.
You spread your wings freely while my hands were shackled in
imprisonment. You grew your roots deeper while my leaves turned
brown. When you were wining, I was losing.
When you finally left, I was lost. Of course, I never wanted you to
come back but I also didn't know how to live without you anymore. How
to pick up the shattered pieces of glass you left behind. You stormed out
leaving your mess for me to clean up. Suddenly, you were all I knew.
Again, I was alone. I began picking up one piece of broken glass at a
time. Each shard cut me and left me with a scar. I gently handled each
piece and molded it back together. It isn't perfect. It isn't pretty. It isn't
sturdy. It isn't the same....yet It's so much more. This piece is transformative.
It has endurance. It has resilience. It has will. It has presence. It
has hope. It has honesty. It has magic. It has patience. It has humility.
It has wisdom. It has heart. It has everything it needs. I HAVE ME.
A me that finds the ease in the effort. The softness in the strength.
The grace in the grit. The gratitude in the freedom. The peace in the
fight. The faith in the fear. The breathe of life in the present moment.
Unapologetically,
Me
AMIT SUBAR SOLWAY
16
ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM
JUNE 2021
Even still
your fingerprints are everywhere,
groping and promiscuous
scars
seared into my skin.
You are a footnote at the end of every day,
at the bottom of every page
of my life.
It is useless to consider
who I might have become without you.
I will win nothing by
playing such
cruel games.
Instead,
would you be proud
that I have repurposed you? I
wish to show you all the things that
I have done
in spite of you,
because of you.
You are my secret weapon,
transforming inescapable fear
into the wonder of
how best to be
alive.
Reluctantly yours,
Marloe
MARLOE ESCH
http://www.ELEPHANTSANDTEA.COM

Elephants And Tea - June 2021

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Elephants And Tea - June 2021

Contents
Elephants And Tea - June 2021 - Cover1
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Elephants And Tea - June 2021 - 1
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