Elephants and Tea - December 2021 - 38

Conversation REFLECTIONS WITH RACHEL
Finding Purpose
Through Grief
BY RACHEL MIHALKO
THERE WERE ABOUT TWENTY BOOKS
SPREAD OUT OVER MY DORM ROOM,
while I sat on the floor flipping through the
pages of yet another one act anthology. I had
the opportunity to direct a one act play for my
college's theatre program, and I got to choose
the script. I poured over one act scripts for days,
looking for the perfect piece. I wanted to direct
something that was a reflection of who I am and
the experiences I have had over the past three
years.
I had checked out one act collections from
the school library, skimming through dozens
of one acts that just weren't quite right. Finally,
sitting on the floor of my dorm room, I flipped
to one called " Dreamlost. " The title intrigued
me from the start, and once I read the whole
script, I knew it was the one for me. It was
complex, with characters grappling with the
different emotions surrounding grief, and it
had a touch of mystery and eeriness.
As I poured over the script for a month or
so before auditions, I climbed into the heads
of the characters and could empathize with
each of them. I have never lost a loved one that
I can remember like the characters in " Dreamlost "
have, but I know what it is to experience
loss. Cancer took so much from me, and I've
struggled to convey that to others in a way
they can understand. This show gave me the
opportunity to do so.
In rehearsals, I shared the stages of grief
with the cast and encouraged them to identify
which stage or stages they felt their character
was experiencing. We talked about how grief
is not linear and how multiple stages can take
place at once. There are so many misconceptions
about the stages of grief, and I wanted
to break through that with my cast and show
them how deep grief goes. The more the actors
understood their characters, the more
the audience would in turn understand the
show as a whole.
Friendships that already existed began to
blossom through our connection to this show.
I could tell how passionate each of the actors
were, and it still brings me joy thinking about
how invested they were. They asked questions
and made bold choices in rehearsals, and I
got to experience the directing process in a
beautifully curious environment, where I got
to see the empathy of each actor come out in
the role they played.
Now that the performances are long over,
looking back at the moment of discovering
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