MY LIFE Matters - Advocacy in Action - 11

FAMILY EXPERIENCES Legacy in Advocacy
To our surprise, she had been diagnosed
with a recurrence of inflammatory breast
cancer (IBC). IBC blocks certain vessels
in the skin which causes it to be rare, yet
rapidly developing. At that time, IBC was
the most aggressive form of breast cancer
with a very low survival expectancy
rate-16 to 18 months to be exact. I remember
being shocked. I struggled with
the contrast of now being a freshman in
college, along with the morbid reality of
a cancer recurrence of someone I so dearly
loved. My Mom went back into fight
mode. Nothing stopped this woman. My
real-life superhero. What I learned from
that time was resilience, strength, and the
power of God. I realized how strong I was
to witness this, but how much stronger
she was for battling it. Around this time,
I was completing an internship at Disney
World in Orlando, Florida. All while the
infamous Hurricane Katrina ransacked
our beloved city (New Orleans, Louisiana).
The hospital where my Mom was receiving
treatment was underwater with all medical
records destroyed. Life had dealt us a
wealth of cards. I was supposed to be in
one of the most socially lighthearted times
of my life. Instead, I was contemplating the
constant thoughts of losing my Mother
and knowing that my hometown would
never be the same again. I was living in a
cloud of fear and anxiety.
However, 18 months (about one and a
half years) later my Mom was still here.
She opted to undergo every treatment and
clinical trial that she could to stay alive.
Of course, for herself, but also for me. I
grew up believing my Mom was invincible.
Watching her day in and day out in full
battle. Her good days outweighed her bad.
The ability to live was her strongest desire.
Her journey made me more diligent
about my own health. It taught me the
importance of receiving preventive care.
Mom had already stressed that I would
need to start receiving mammograms in
my twenties. At the age of 26, I received
my very first mammogram. It was an insurance
nightmare! Having to constantly
explain the reason why I would need this
done. I have dense breast tissue and a Mom
with breast cancer. To the medical world,
I was considered " high risk. " Fun, right?
In April 2014, my Mom had now prolonged
this 18-month prognosis to nine
full years. Superwoman had nothing on
her. However, these days were different.
This was the first time that my Mom had
become extra vulnerable and vocal about
her pain. We were starting to see a different
side of her but could not pinpoint what
it was. Our biggest fears had officially
turned into reality. Several small tumors
were found in her brain. Still, some of the
hardest news I ever had to hear. My love
for my Mom grew. My empathy for her
situation grew. Fully understanding the
countless sacrifices that she had made for
me, and now it was my turn to give it back
in return. I took a three-month leave of
absence from my job to become a full-time
caregiver. Mom was determined to fight
this, and I was determined to fight with
her. This began (what I feel was) the longest
season of my life. My Mom had finally
reached a point that life was no longer fair.
She received several rounds of radiation
treatment to the brain, which helped to
eradicate some of those tumors. Though
that was considered successful, I could
tell that my Mom's mind and body were
being defeated. She started to slow down,
sleep a lot more, could no longer walk on
her own, etc. She was fully dependent on
family to help her navigate the simplest
tasks, which is exceptionally difficult as
IBC was finally rearing its ugly head. The
fight that she had for the past nine years
was quickly coming to an end.
In October 2014, my mom was called
home.
This was the hardest thing I have ever
had to accept in my life. To this day, I
always sit back and wonder if I could've
done anything differently. We spent so
much time together through those past
six months. The answer is simple. I did
all that I could. Watching Golden Girls
and Frazier reruns in the middle of every
night. Having her to depend on us fully
for the smallest things. Eating, using the
restroom, bathing, etc. So many doctors'
appointments, so much pain I had to watch
her endure. It wasn't fair. April 2014 to
October 2014 was not fair. My anxiety had
gone beyond what eyes could see. My doctors
had to medicate me to properly take
care of her. I would do it all over again if
I could have kept my Mom.
Her love was endless. Her battle was
fierce. Her personality was fun. Her sense
of humor was incredible. Her spirit was
beautiful. Her energy was infectious. My
Mom is someone that I will always be
inspired to be!
My goal after losing my Mom was to
always push to be the best Mother that
I could be. My daughter was five years
old at the time of my Mom's passing. She
would watch her Grandmother (affectionately
known as " Tooka Tooka " ) fight
courageously yet show so much strength.
That within itself is a tough act to follow.
Being strong for a child who has just lost
her Grandmother compared to being a
woman who is now grieving her mother.
Those days were not easy. Walking into
the front door of my Mom's home and
not hearing her yell " Heyyyyyyyy Tooka
Tooka! " to my daughter. Listening to my
phone ring knowing that she will never be
Her love was endless.
Her battle was fierce. Her
personality was fun. Her sense
of humor was incredible.
Her spirit was beautiful. Her
energy was infectious. My
mom is someone that I will
always be inspired to be! "
MY LIFE MATTERS
ADVOCACY IN ACTION | FALL 2023
11
MY LIFE Matters - Advocacy in Action

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of MY LIFE Matters - Advocacy in Action
