MY LIFE Matters - Advocacy in Action - 12

Legacy in Advocacy FAMILY EXPERIENCES
do. I did not grieve properly. I kept myself
busy to avoid missing her. However, I did
not take the proper steps to learn how to
fully navigate life without her.
The next few years were spent learning
how to advocate for breast cancer. I
wanted to ensure that I was sharing
my Mom's story the right way. The
positive impression that she made
on everyone she met deserved to
be shared. I was sharing my Mom's
story the right way. All of life was
starting to finally come together for
me. I began a spiritual journey to become
closer to God, found my passion
professionally, re-enrolled in school,
It is a long
shot, but if I am
on this earth, I
don't want any
woman to fight
alone. That's
what I want, and
I know that is
what my mom
would want.
Her legacy is my
legacy.
on the other line again. Watching our favorite
television shows and waiting fer her
commentaries in between commercials.
I did everything I possibly could to keep
busy. I worked overtime hours, coordinating
a breast cancer race team in her
honor, traveled, relocated to a new city for
a short time, spent time with friends, etc.
However, there was one thing that I did not
12
MY LIFE MATTERS
ADVOCACY IN ACTION | FALL 2023
started therapy, began a relationship with
an old friend from college, participated
in everything my daughter wanted to do,
etc. I was happy. I was healthy. I felt loved.
I felt seen.
In December 2020, life got weird again.
I was healing from a breakup. The world
spent almost the entire year being hit
with a global pandemic. Lots of time was
spent at home. I read several books, binge
watched almost every TV show, worked
remotely, and of course every outfit needed
to be paired with a face mask. However,
there was one thing that I was not
prepared for. A breast cancer diagnosis.
Triple-negative invasive ductal carcinoma
to be exact. The next several months
were a blur. I received a port placement,
16 rounds of chemotherapy, 17 rounds
of immunotherapy, and a double mastectomy
with immediate reconstruction.
This is not really my idea of a good time.
However, this journey helped shape me
into the woman I am today. The woman
who is resilient. The woman who sets
healthy boundaries. The woman who is
more aware and accepting of her mental
health. The woman who feels that no one
should fight this battle alone.
I chose to remain private during my chemotherapy
journey. I had every intention
of sharing my story. However, I needed to
learn how to adjust to this new lifestyle. I
was no longer the storyteller of my Mom's
battle. I was now the patient. I was now the
one with no hair. I was now the " sick " one.
Chemotherapy stripped me of everything
I knew (and loved) about myself. Between
the weight loss and fatigue, I no longer
recognized myself in the mirror.
I joined Tigerlily Foundation in September
2021 as an ANGEL Advocate.
The knowledge that I obtained from
training proved to me that this is where
I belonged. At this point, I had already
gone public with my journey. I was fresh
into figuring out how to adapt to my new
norm (and implants!). My body was still
very weak and uncomfortable. Returning
to work felt unbearable. Fatigue was at an
all-time high. I was still in treatment receiving
Immunotherapy. However, I was
" cancer free. " For that, I was blessed, and
I remain grateful.
Currently, as I continue to thrive
through the survivorship stage of my journey,
I am a firm believer that life is only
what we make of it. In less than 37 years,
I have been a caregiver, griever, advocate,
warrior, thriver, patient advocate, and now
survivor. That list is just centered around
breast cancer alone. That does not make
me any more knowledgeable than anyone
else. That also does not make my journey
any easier or harder than anyone else's. It
is just a testament to understanding that
everyone's journey is different and that we
all have a story to tell. As a patient advocate,
I continue to make strides in any way
that I can to get our voices heard. Being
a Tigerlily ANGEL Advocate has helped
catapult me into spaces that I used to only
dream of being in.
Advocacy is so important to me because
I didn't really know women in my situation.
The best advice I would give to anyone
new or interested in advocacy is to be
yourself. Advocacy comes from our own
voice and in full transparency. I personally
feel that life experiences create the best
foundation to tell our stories. I watched
my Mother go through war. Years later,
my daughter watched me go through war.
Of course, we will always have the initial
shock of any diagnosis. My goal is to ensure
that we are at least knowledgeable.
Defeat is not an option! However, lack of
awareness is no longer an option. As much
as I learn and experience, I am willing to
teach and share. I am constantly educating
myself on new discoveries, changes
in treatment, policy, etc. It is a long shot,
but if I am on this earth, I don't want any
woman to fight alone. That's what I want,
and I know that is what my Mom would
want. Her legacy is my legacy. l
MY LIFE Matters - Advocacy in Action

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