MY LIFE Matters - Health Literacy - 28

A Proactive Approach CONTINUE LEARNING IN SURVIVORSHIP
with the doctor, he asked,
" So what do you want me to
tell you, because you came
with all the information I am
supposed to be giving you. "
LOL-we all chuckled.
One thing the doctor told
me is that I will survive.
He said that my Faith in
God, my positive attitude,
and studying my condition
would all be in my favor. I
believe this is when advocating
became even more of
my calling. After leaving this
appointment with my aunt,
I was so relieved only to be
let down later by her. My
favorite aunt, my surrogate
mother, as my own mother
and grandmother had passed
away at this time. Here I was
tends to grow and spread more quickly
than many other types of breast cancers.
I was thankful though that the cancer had
not spread. This is the reason why it was a
stage II versus stage III.
Well, the information is in and now it is
time to act. I will tell you looking back, I
wish I had done things so much differently.
I wish I knew as a part of my health literacy
the value of getting a second opinion
and the importance of having a medical
team you are comfortable with. I did not
know you could seek second opinions for
all phases of treatment, including chemotherapy,
radiation, surgery, clinical trials,
and reconstruction.
I immediately sought out a surgeon for
a DMX (double mastectomy). For me, at
the time, there was no need for a second
opinion (military mode kicking in), I just
wanted the breasts removed!
I called around to several medical providers
I knew from working on the OR
floor at a local hospital. I chose Dr. Bianchi,
who was so kind and his nurse Ashley was
A++. The level of care and empathy they
showed me was tremendous. I researched
the doctor's credentials, reviews, and
other information I could get a hold of.
When I went on my first visit, my aunt
went with me.
I knew what I wanted, I had researched
the procedure and my medical condition
to the best of my abilities. Upon speaking
28
MY LIFE MATTERS
HEALTH LITERACY ISSUE | SUMMER 2023
again in emotional turmoil on top of dealing
with my own health condition.
My aunt had a benign tumor in her
breast and underwent a lumpectomy and
radiation treatment, which she did not
continue. After dropping me off from
my appointment with the surgeon she
called to inform me she could no longer
go with me to my appointments or be
a part of anything related to my breast
cancer. Hearing those words felt like a
knife stabbed in my heart, the feelings
that came over me were pain, sadness,
disappointment, and abandonment. I just
kept saying to her what did you say, what
did you say, auntie?
Of all the people in the world, I thought
my aunt would be right by my bedside as
she had done so many times in my past
when I had knee replacement surgeries.
As I write, tears are just flowing down
my face, because I felt the ULTIMATE
betrayal and hurt. I couldn't decide what
was worse, the diagnosis or her decision to
not support me. When she went through
her breast experience, I never left her side,
I supported her as a caregiver would. There
was nothing in this world she could ask
(and she didn't need to) that I would and
did not do for her.
It took some time and therapy to realize
that she had a lot of past trauma and
unresolved issues she has not addressed.
Unfortunately, we have only spoken about
three times over the last three years. As
a breast cancer patient, you must focus
on your recovery and keeping a positive
environment around you. I have tried
several times to reach out, but she is not
able to engage. Sometimes the people you
anticipate or expect to be your support
network distance or remove themselves
when cancer surfaces. I have learned to
focus on myself and find the individuals
who care about me, my circumstances, and
can support my cancer journey.
I remember the BIG day for the DMX.
The surgery and port placement went
well with a total of 4.5 hours, and now
the recovery is underway. There was no
immediate reconstruction as I had not
seen an oncologist or radiation oncologist.
Paris was with me every day checking on
me, bringing me food, and helping with
my little one. You would think she was
the oldest, but there is a 20-year age gap
between us. But true unconditional love
has no age limits.
MY LIFE Matters - Health Literacy

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