MY LIFE Matters - Spring 2022 - 18

Anniversary
It's My
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MY LIFE MATTERS
SPRING 2022
THRIVING THROUGH METASTATIC BREAST CANCER
BY TERLISA SHEPPARD
Looking back on the past 20 years when I was first diagnosed
with metastatic breast cancer, I did not envision living to see
myself celebrating 20 years of living with this disease.
I couldn't even picture the fact that I would
see my daughters grow up. I was taking
baby steps just to get through one moment
to the next. At times, I was so sick and weak
that I could not even leave my house. Walking
out to the driveway was a task. I had
to have someone drive me to my medical
appointments, and when I would arrive at
the facilities, I had to be pushed in a wheelchair.
My white blood counts were often so
low that I had to distance myself from my
school-aged daughters and almost everyone
else.
My mother had moved in with me to
help take care of me and my daughters.
She had her hands full, because even
though I was very sick and dependent on
her once again, as though I was a child, I
still had a strong sense of independence.
I truly believe this mindset aided in
strengthening my mental health, because
it continued to get me through those days
where it was dark and cloudy all around
me. My sisters will have some stories to
tell of my early days. They came and did
many things for me and my family and
were at all my surgeries. There were times
when my sassy mouth could have run
them away, but they were and continue to
be very faithful to me and my every need.
I am so glad that they are still around
and ready to aid me at a moment's notice.
This road has been hard and treacherous
at times, and there continues to
be those moments of complete surprises
throughout this metastatic diagnosis.
Since I have metastases to my bones,
lungs, liver, spine, abdomen, and brain,
I must constantly undergo regular scans
and MRIs to check my progress and to
look out for any additional tumor growth.
Scanxiety is very real! Even though I
have undergone more scans than I can
count, my nerves just seem to get the
best of me when that day gets close. You
will normally find me doing something
very silly just to pass the time, or to get
my mind off it altogether. Sometimes I
feel like I am just skating by, and in some
cases, just missing the curve by an inch.
It gives me a sense of renewed faith when
I see myself waking up every morning.
Sometimes I just smile and say, " thank
you Lord " for I know it is a complete
blessing to open my eyes every morning
to start another day. As I have said and
will continue to say, getting to this point
in my life has been a long, tough road. I
don't get caught up in thinking about the
worst part of my life on a daily basis, because
I know and have seen that any day
and any moment can be the worst part. I
just choose to focus on the now.
I have had many surgeries, scans, and
even more doctor appointments. I have
a specialist for everything, and I mean
everything. This is my metastatic breast
cancer diagnosis. I try not to ponder on
those " what-if " days: " What if the cancer
is spreading somewhere else. " " What if
I have to be dependent upon my young
adult daughters and siblings for my care? "
The list can go on and on, but during it
all, I find myself smiling and meditating
in these moments because I have been
fortunate enough to do things like raise
my daughters-from babies into adulthood-drive
myself to my various medical
appointments and treatments, and just
drive from state to state for random visits.
Just the thought of this makes me smile.
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MY LIFE Matters - Spring 2022

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