MY LIFE Matters: TNBC Patient Voices Issue 2022 - 38

ANGEL Advocate DO NOT GIVE IN
When
Life Gives
You the
Unexpected
DEFEATING FEAR & CHANGING MY LIFE
BY DARIA ROSS
I
t was October of 2018-Breast Cancer Awareness Month-
when I discovered my lump. A week after Thanksgiving,
my diagnosis was confirmed-2a triple-negative breast
cancer (TNBC). I was 47 years old and living the life I had
envisioned for myself. Ten years earlier, I decided to move
from my home in Michigan to New York City (NYC) to build the
life I desired. I had amazing friends, a nice career, and a fantastic
NYC apartment, and I thoroughly enjoyed those epic New York
Sunday brunches. I felt empowered and unstoppable. I was living my best life, and the idea
of breast health and cancer was something that had never crossed my mind.
Little did I know, but it is a sobering reality that TNBC is a more aggressive
cancer, more common in younger, African American and Hispanic women. I was
shocked when I was diagnosed because I had always thought of breast cancer as
an older women's disease. I felt I was in the prime of my life, and it was a struggle
to accept my new reality.
It took me a fair bit of internal persuasion to get my medical screenings that,
in the end, detected my cancer. Had I continued to not advocate for my health or
had the cancer itself been more advanced, I can easily see how I could have been
diagnosed at a later stage or metastatic. Fear is paralyzing. I never knew the power
of fear until well after my diagnosis. I realized that I allowed fear to prevent me
from prioritizing my preventive health. I feared aging. I feared dealing with the
reality of being a single woman, over 40, with no children. That fear prevented
me from getting annual mammograms. I avoided the ever-present directives from
my doctor to get a mammogram. I ignored discussions, articles, commercials, and
anything about being over 40. I looked young. I felt young. Others always thought
I was younger. So, out of mind, out of sight. At about my fourth or fifth chemo
infusion, I finally allowed myself to process how I had permitted fear to lead my
life. The lesson: Do not give fear your power. Be mindful of how fear can lead to
delay. Cancer can happen to anyone. Ignoring reality doesn't change anything.
The speed at which the doctors wanted to move into treatment and the firm
recommendations for an aggressive treatment regimen put everything in perspective.
38
MY LIFE MATTERS
TNBC PATIENT VOICES ISSUE 2022
I knew this was life-changing, and my
decisions could be lifesaving. Knowing
I needed a support system, I decided to
move back home to the Flint, Michigan,
area to live with my parents during
treatment.
My treatment plan included a double
mastectomy, 15 weeks of chemotherapy,
and 30 rounds of radiation. My parents,
siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins were
my full-time support system. After surgery,
I had 25 family members in the
waiting room who came to support me.
I relied on my family, faith, and trusted
medical team to get me through. My
Mother helped me bathe when I couldn't
do it for myself. My Dad helped clear my
JP drains. The intimacy of this support
brought us closer. They accompanied me
to every appointment and made sure I
took the required medications. All of
this helped me stay strong mentally.
Without it, I do not know if I could have

MY LIFE Matters: TNBC Patient Voices Issue 2022

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of MY LIFE Matters: TNBC Patient Voices Issue 2022