102 RELATIONSHIPS /// CHAPTER 64 Brothers and sisters might be feeling: Scared Doesn't matter how tough, grown up or brave they seemed, finding out you have cancer can be terrifying for your brothers and sisters. They're probably frightened about what is going to happen to you and what difference cancer will make to you and the rest of the family. Sometimes you or your parents may try to protect them and not tell them all of the news about your treatment or prognosis. Not knowing the full story can cause them to imagine the worst, which can be very frightening. Angry There will be lots of changes to family life and a lot of attention will be on you. While you are being treated, your brothers and sisters may have to take on extra responsibilities around the house. Your parents aren't home as much and the whole world at home seems like it has been turned upside down because of you. Your siblings may feel that they are not being treated equally and think that the whole situation is just not fair. They may even be feeling angry at themselves for feeling that way. Jealous People will be super nice to you and you may get lots of presents and attention. You may also get out of doing things around the house and get away with being moody or saying nasty things when they can't. This can be quite hard for your brothers and sisters. Guilty They may be feeling seriously guilty about your cancer. They feel bad that you got sick and they didn't and that they can still laugh and go out and have fun when you can't. They may feel guilty about complaining about the extra things that they have to do. They may feel guilty about arguing with you or wishing bad things would happen to you. Or they may feel guilty for not feeling anything at all. They may be in shock or disbelief, or they may just be too busy in their own life. This doesn't mean they don't care; it's just that they need some time to deal with it and in their own way. Lonely Your brother or sister may have to spend time at home on their own or with other family or friends. They may miss you and your parents if you are in hospital for long periods of time and feel left out or neglected. They may also be missing the way things were. Their friends might not know how to handle the news of your cancer and are staying away from them or don't know how to talk to them about it. They may feel that no-one understands what they are going through and this can be a very lonely experience. There are ways that you can help your siblings understand what you are going through. Just sitting down and talking with them about how you are both feeling is a big first step - but it should help to make things better.https://fwaya.org/