What Do I Do Now? - 108

108
EMOTIONAL HEALTH /// CHAPTER 68
Frustration
You may feel like
you have lost your
independence and
can't do anything for
yourself anymore.
You feel dependent
on other people
who may be always
telling you what to
do. This can make
you impatient and
short-tempered. It is
important to share
with others when you
need space and find
areas of life where
you can still maintain
control or exercise
independence.
Guilt
Embarrassed
Guilt can strike for
all sorts of reasons.
You might blame
yourself for getting
cancer. You might
feel bad that you are
causing your family
to worry so much, or
that your cancer has
messed things up at
home. You might feel
guilty for surviving
while others did not.
It's easy to get
caught up with guilt.
Try to remember that
it's not your fault that
you have cancer and
life has been turned
upside down. Often,
acknowledging guilt
is the first step in
letting it go.
You might be
embarrassed
about some of the
feelings your cancer
has brought up in
you. You may look
different or act
differently because
of the cancer, and
people may ask
annoying questions
that you don't know
how to answer. You
may be getting tired
of feeling like you or
the cancer are the
" center of attention "
in social situations.
This isn't always
easy to handle. If
you feel up to it, try
thinking of some
creative responses
to deal with people
who stare - maybe
you can tell people
that your treatment
scars came from
being bitten by a
shark? Find ways
to be to playfully
sarcastic to help
change the focus
away from cancer.
Jealousy
It's not uncommon to
feel jealous of your
brothers, sisters or
friends because they
don't have cancer
and can still have a
normal life. You may
find yourself making
comparisons and
wishing you had a
different life. This is
normal, but it is also
important to notice
that continuing
to think this way
over time won't
help change your
situation or bring you
joy. You may need to
explore how you can
create a life that you
want to live in the
circumstances you
have now.
Lonely
Having cancer can
make you feel very
alone, even if you
are surrounded by
supportive people.
You might feel
that no one really
understands what
you are going
through. Your friends
and family might not
know how to deal
with your cancer
and start to treat
you differently, or
just avoid you. You
might be spending
long periods in the
hospital and miss
going to school,
work, or your usual
social activities.
Having to face
cancer can cause
you to grow up faster
than your friends and
also quickly change
your perspective.
You might not relate
to your friends as
well anymore.
See the following chapters for some common issues (depression, anxiety, body
image issues) and then see chapter 73 on Getting support.
Having cancer can
feel very isolating,
but it might help to
remember that there
are other people out
there going through
it too.

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What Do I Do Now?

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