116 EMOTIONAL HEALTH /// CHAPTER 73 Getting Support Getting the right kind of support when you are living with cancer is important. While there may be lots of people looking after the physical side of things, it is just as important to look after the emotional side. Your cancer experience may last for a long time and the kind of support you need may change. You may be worried about talking about your experience with family and friends, because you don't want to be a " burden. " However, these are the people who want to feel close to you during this time and sharing some of these struggles may strengthen the relationship. But if that is too difficult right now, there are plenty of others who would like to offer support. Asking for help can be hard - especially if you and others think that you should be " over it " by now. It may mean having to: » Admit that you are not doing as well as you would like to be. No one is going to judge you on this. » Open up about what's going on. » Admit that you don't have all the answers. » Be honest and try to let your guard down. » Stop trying to be the perfect patient. Ask for the treatment and information that you need. You may think this makes you look weak or imperfect. In fact, it shows maturity and strength to ask for help. » Let go of faking the " I'm okay " thing - it is going to make things a whole lot harder. A good support person will: » Listen to you. » Not judge you. » Be there when you need them. » Keep things private (if and when you ask). » Be honest with you. » Have a sense of humor. » Not tell you that they know how you feel.https://fwaya.org/