95 RELATIONSHIPS /// CHAPTER 61 Communicating Effectively with Friends and Family Cancer is a tough topic to talk about (no kidding!). You may have stuff that you want to know but you're not sure how to ask or who to ask. You may have many fears and concerns but don't want to worry or upset people. While lots of pamphlets and videos show families all sitting around sharing their innermost thoughts, the reality is not all families talk openly and honestly about things that are happening or their feelings. A cancer diagnosis isn't going to change that overnight. How your family communicates about cancer may depend on how you have always communicated. It's going to be hard. But the longer you avoid talking about what is really going on, the harder it will be. You've heard it before, but not talking about it won't make it go away. You shouldn't go through this alone and you may be surprised how much better it is when things are out in the open. So, the trick is to find the right time and the right way for you to talk about stuff. Things to think about: » There is no right or wrong way to talk about cancer. » Let people know that you want to talk about it. People might avoid bringing up your cancer because they are afraid of upsetting you. » It can be difficult to talk if there is a big gap between what you want to talk about and what everyone else wants to talk about. » It is most important that you talk to people who you trust and feel comfortable with. It is OK if this is someone outside your family. » Being afraid or scared that you will upset people can often hold you back from talking about how you are really feeling or what is really going on for you.https://fwaya.org/