What Do I Do Now? - 98

98
RELATIONSHIPS /// CHAPTER 62
Things to keep in mind when you are thinking about your friends:
Stay in touch with your friends
Friends sometimes don't know what
to say
Your friends may be scared to say the wrong thing or to
ask you a question. Often, they will just say nothing. It's not
because they don't care, but more that they just don't know
what to say. If you want to talk, you may have to start the
ball rolling.
Friends won't say things to deliberately
upset you
Sometimes your friends will say stuff that really annoys you
and makes you angry. This can be really hard. But try not to
be offended and keep in mind that they didn't try to annoy
you on purpose; it's just that they don't understand what
you're going through. It's OK to let them know. You can start
with " You know, it bugs me when.... " .You will probably be
a bit snappy with your friends too sometimes when you're
feeling down. That's OK as long as you let them know how
much they mean to you once you feel better.
Friends may ask tough or silly questions
Be prepared for questions that may seem strange -
remember all the things that you didn't know before you
got diagnosed? Sometimes you may not want to answer
questions about your cancer and may not want to share
everything. It is alright to let your friends know that you don't
feel like talking right now and to choose what information
you want to share.
Your friends have their own lives
It may seem that your friends are just getting on with
their lives without you and you feel a little left out. Try to
remember that they have their own lives too and they aren't
dealing with the same things as you are. Unfortunately, the
world doesn't stop just because you have been diagnosed
with cancer (although for you it may seem like you have
entered a whole different world).
Try to stay in touch and let your friends know that you still
want to be part of what's going on even if you can't always
go out and do things. It's really important to keep yourself
occupied and do some fun things that can take your mind off
cancer for a while.
Be as open as you can with your friends. Ignoring their
calls and telling them that they wouldn't understand can
sometimes work a little too well! Don't be scared that you're
going to sound silly. Your friends expect things are hard for
you right now.
Friends may change
Having positive people in your life is important at this time.
Some of your friends may stay with you and become an
amazing source of support, able to listen to your complaints,
fears and wishes. These are true friends and you may
become very close.
But not all of your friends will be able to handle it and
some friendships will fade. Some people will find it hard to
understand what you're going through. Some may even bully
or exclude you and you may decide that they are just not
worth the hassle.
You may also change as cancer can make you have a
different perspective on life. You may not relate to your old
friends as well and want to find people whose interests are
more like yours.
You may form new friendships.
It can be really helpful to connect with other young people
who are going through a similar thing. They might be easier
to talk to about what is happening because they understand.
Lots of young people say that this is often the best support.
RESOURCES
https://b-present.org/
https://www.b-present.org/ https://fwaya.org/
What Do I Do Now?

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