American Hunter - June 2013 - 87

Mars. But she turned out to be awesome-
she even posed with me and my bloody pig
right there on the steps of the Four Seasons.
"At any rate, Patrick met me on the
veranda, near the pool near the ocean
while Rio Grande turkeys nibbled orchids.
Imagine a surfer dude, only one who chases
animals, not waves, for a living. I liked him
immediately, but when he asked me what I
was looking for in terms of 'trophy quality'
I nearly spit my pineapple libation.
"Now, you know I love hunting hogs-
namely because they're the ultimate poor
man's game-but understand, this was a
special circumstance. So I looked at Pat,
convincing him to follow my eyes out over
the pool, past the throngs of tanned, bikinibound bathers, over the massage tables and
tiki bars and onto the mesmerizing waves
where skin divers frolicked with porpoises.
Game fish were getting away. I told him
I wished to shoot the very first pig I saw.
"So, Wood, perhaps you've got your
idea of hog heaven-maybe Texas, your
Florida swamps or even New Zealand-
but on America's Pearl you can hunt, fish
and frolic in perfect weather, and your
cell phone still works. For my .. dollar,
Hawaii is pig paradise.
"Yeah," said Wood, "but I thought you
weren't paying."
"Well, for anyone's dollar." I said.
"So how did it end?" Wood asked.
"Well, light exposed the ugly, paradisedefiling beast and I aimed the Apex and
squeezed the trigger, sending a -grain
PowerBelt into his shoulder and ..."
Just then the waiter interrupted: "Sir,
your entrée?"
"Um," I stammered, "what's the market
on the surf-and-turf? I can't make it out
with the poor lighting in here."
"It's ," he said haughtily, as though if
I had to ask it was too much. I don't think
he appreciated my blue jeans and Mossy
Oak cap that shaded my face.
"That sounds a bit like casting pearls to
the pigs, don't you think?" said Hatfield.
And I thought about it for a second.
"I'll take the pork chops." ah
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American Hunter - June 2013

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of American Hunter - June 2013

American Hunter - June 2013 - 1
American Hunter - June 2013 - 2
American Hunter - June 2013 - 3
American Hunter - June 2013 - 4
American Hunter - June 2013 - 5
American Hunter - June 2013 - 6
American Hunter - June 2013 - 7
American Hunter - June 2013 - 8
American Hunter - June 2013 - 9
American Hunter - June 2013 - 10
American Hunter - June 2013 - 11
American Hunter - June 2013 - 12
American Hunter - June 2013 - 13
American Hunter - June 2013 - 14
American Hunter - June 2013 - 15
American Hunter - June 2013 - 16
American Hunter - June 2013 - 17
American Hunter - June 2013 - 18
American Hunter - June 2013 - 19
American Hunter - June 2013 - 20
American Hunter - June 2013 - 21
American Hunter - June 2013 - 22
American Hunter - June 2013 - 23
American Hunter - June 2013 - 24
American Hunter - June 2013 - 25
American Hunter - June 2013 - 26
American Hunter - June 2013 - 27
American Hunter - June 2013 - 28
American Hunter - June 2013 - 29
American Hunter - June 2013 - 30
American Hunter - June 2013 - 31
American Hunter - June 2013 - 32
American Hunter - June 2013 - 33
American Hunter - June 2013 - 34
American Hunter - June 2013 - 35
American Hunter - June 2013 - 36
American Hunter - June 2013 - 37
American Hunter - June 2013 - 38
American Hunter - June 2013 - 39
American Hunter - June 2013 - 40
American Hunter - June 2013 - 41
American Hunter - June 2013 - 42
American Hunter - June 2013 - 43
American Hunter - June 2013 - 44
American Hunter - June 2013 - 45
American Hunter - June 2013 - 46
American Hunter - June 2013 - 47
American Hunter - June 2013 - 48
American Hunter - June 2013 - 49
American Hunter - June 2013 - 50
American Hunter - June 2013 - 51
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American Hunter - June 2013 - 53
American Hunter - June 2013 - 54
American Hunter - June 2013 - 55
American Hunter - June 2013 - 56
American Hunter - June 2013 - 57
American Hunter - June 2013 - 58
American Hunter - June 2013 - 59
American Hunter - June 2013 - 60
American Hunter - June 2013 - 61
American Hunter - June 2013 - 62
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American Hunter - June 2013 - 92
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