The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 26
Backstory
H U M O R
Meet the Coronasexual
Move aside metrosexuals and lumbersexuals, this trail runner is sporting the (sadly)
trendy style of our current day, staying safe, and looking good. By Adam W. Chase
SAFER AT HOME ISN'T AN UMPIRE'S CALL AT
the plate. Nor is the virus novel at this point.
Whether positive or negative or positively negative, we will get to relive this year, given our
birthdays-along with everything else-have
been canceled. By now, our curves are either flat
or fat, so here's a short coronacation to lighten
an otherwise dark period.
Mask for screening our own ugly mug.
Also convenient for bugs, leaf blowers,
allergies, and not smelling flatulence or
BO. Also for bad ventriloquists. Most importantly, it allows for judging those who
aren't wearing face coverings.
Arm equals half the length of social
distancing to practice safe six; not to be
used for hugging; atrophied from not
visiting the gym
Fingers fatigued from dialing so much
takeout and delivery
COVID-19 beard and no makeup (but
wait... shaving's not canceled)
Immune system-jacked on zinc, vitamin D,
exercise, less-polluted air-is so advanced
it's producing antibodies for COVID-21.
Ego so inflated while away from reality
he thinks his social media influence has
virtually gone viral.
Stomach fueled by plant-based diet,
good for the meat shortages; also pandemic baking projects, successes, and
flops alike
Running shoes to escape lectures about
conspiracies, hoaxes, and government
plots from covidiots and maskless yoots
Crotch for virtual sex with no literal fear
of STDs or pregnancy
26 THE WEEKLY / OUTDOOR RETAILER SUMMER 2020
CO U R T E SY H E L E N R O E
The Weekly - June 16, 2020
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Weekly - June 16, 2020
Contents
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - Cover1
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - Cover2
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - Contents
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 4
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 5
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 6
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 7
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 8
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 9
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 10
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 11
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 12
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 13
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 14
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 15
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 16
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 17
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 18
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 19
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 20
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 21
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 22
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 23
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 24
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 25
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - 26
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - Cover3
The Weekly - June 16, 2020 - Cover4
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/thedailyguidess23
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/dailySM2022_Day3
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/dailysm2022_Day2
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/dailySM2022_Day1
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2022_Day3
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2022_Day2
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2022_Day1
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2021_day3
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2021_day2
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/daily2021_day1
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/outdoor-retailer-august-2021
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/outdoor-retailer-july-2021
https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/outdoor-retailer-june-2021
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https://www.nxtbook.com/emerald/outdoorretailer/april_2021
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/march_2021
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https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/january_2021
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/december_2020
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/theweekly_07302020
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https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/postshow2020
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2020_day3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2020_day2
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2020_day1
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/preshow2020
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2020winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/postshow_summer2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/day3_summer2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/day2_summer2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/day1_summer2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/preshow_summer2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2019summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/postshow2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2019_day3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2019_day2
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/daily2019_day1
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/preshow2019
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2019winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2018summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2018winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/201707
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2017summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2017winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2016summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/outdoorretailer/2016winter
https://www.nxtbookmedia.com