PKD Life - Spring 2022 - 10

CAREGIVING
Age s & Stage s
COMMUNICATE YOUR
NEEDS. Family members and
friends can help-emotionally,
physically, fi nancially-only if
they know what you need, care
coordinator Jenni Schmidt says.
Tips for the
Sandwich
Generation
Learn how to cope when
both your kids and your
parents need help.
By Andrea Atkins
A ndy Tang, of Orange
County, California, starts
most mornings by getting
breakfast for son Nico, 8, who
needs to be at school by 7:50
a.m. After dropping him off ,
Tang heads home to prepare
breakfast for his mother-inlaw,
who disconnects from her
nightly dialysis at about 10
a.m. He then cleans up, prepares
and serves lunch to his
mother-in-law, and picks up
Nico at 2 p.m. Once Nico has
had a snack, Tang makes dinner-trying
his best to honor
his mother-in-law's Asian
palate while also honoring the
dietary restrictions of someone
with PKD. " Everything
has to be organic or raw, " he
says. It would be so easy, he
sometimes thinks, just to pick
up something at a fast-food
restaurant. By 7:30 p.m., Tang
helps his mother-in-law set
10
up for dialysis and
makes sure Nico's
homework is done.
When Nico has
jiujitsu twice a
week, the whole
careful plan can be toppled.
And when Tang has to drive
to and from Los Angeles
for appointments with his
mother-in-law's doctors or
nutritionist or for bloodwork
(a journey that often takes
two hours each way with traffi
c), he worries about getting
back in time to pick up Nico.
Then he has to review the
bloodwork to determine any
diet or medication changes
that might be warranted. He
struggles to fi nd time to play a
game with Nico or just to get
outside with him.
" The routine is really draining, "
says Tang, 41, who left
his job in hotel management
FIND A SUPPORT
FORGET PULLING
YOURSELF UP BY
YOUR BOOTSTRAPS.
" I've seen too many
people who think that if
they ask for help, they are
weak, " says Schmidt, but
asking for help actually
makes you strong.
GRAB MOMENTS.
REDEFINE SELFCARE.
It doesn't have to be
fancy. " If you want to stay
home and take a nap, do
it! " Schmidt says.
Sometimes caregiver
Andy Tang fi nds 10
minutes just to breathe.
" I sit on the couch and
practice mindfulness, "
he says, which allows
him to reset and take on
the next task.
SYSTEM. Venting your
frustrations to others who
don't know you may seem
scary, but it will help you
feel less alone, Schmidt
says. Social workers at your
hospital or dialysis center
can assist you too.
REMEMBER YOUR MOTIVATION.
When Tang feels overwhelmed, he thinks
of how important his mother-in-law is to
his family and how much they all love her.
" The big picture can help get you through
the day, " he says.
to stay home with his
mother-in-law while his
wife, a tax consultant, travels
weekly for business. " There
are days when I don't even get
to sit down for fi ve or 10 minutes.
I have developed a great
respect for homemakers. "
Jenni Schmidt, youth care
coordinator for Clark Community
Mental Health Center
in southwestern Missouri,
knows many people like Tang,
who is part of the " sandwich
generation " juggling caring
for kids and parents. Whether
making doctor's appointments,
managing special medical
equipment and medication,
planning meals, supervising
homework, or reacting
to crises, such caregivers are
often close to burnout. The
recommendations above
can help caregivers take care
of themselves.
FIND ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOR CAREGIVERS AT RESOURCES.PKDCURE.ORG
JOHNER IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES
http://RESOURCES.PKDCURE.ORG
PKD Life - Spring 2022

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