The Villages - October 2017 - 27

Lou Sasmor, husband of Dotty Sasmor, breast cancer survivor.

Q:

What were your thoughts initially after
your wife's breast cancer diagnosis?

Q:

How did you support her along
the way?

Don't we get a break? It had been a rough year with my
surgery and family deaths, and now this. OK, let's get
through this. I guess I never thought of it as her problem,
but as ours. It was found early so I didn't think it would kill
her, but I was worried about what it would do to her, more
mentally than physically.

Mostly just by being there and going with her to the
doctors through a summer of continuous tests, each one
eliminating something from a previous test, but raising a
new question. I mostly listened and tried to reinforce her
positive ideas and let her vent her frustration
at the delays from the steady stream
of tests.

Q:

How did breast cancer change your wife
and your marriage?

Q:

What kind of fears did you have and
how have you dealt with them?

Q:

What have you learned about life?

Q:

What surprised you most about
the journey?

Q:

What are your plans for the future?

I think it changed her attitude to doing things now,
rather than putting them off or not doing them. It's trite
to say it made us aware of her mortality, but that's partly
true. Not a major shift, but a little more willingness to do
things that we might have been a little reluctant to do or
try. After 40 years, we were fairly stable and supportive
of each other, so there wasn't a major change in our
relationship, but it just made it a little stronger; it's like we
had passed through another test and had come out still
good and, perhaps, a little better.

I was never afraid for her life or our marriage. I was
most worried about how she would handle the chronic
issues (testing, treatment, recovery) and how I could
support her. I handled those the way I handle most issues
like that - by thinking ahead about what might happen
and what I should or could do to help.
Don't take anything for granted. Don't hold back,
but be aware that we don't have control and that security
is a myth. Man plans, God laughs.

How strong she was, and how determined she was not
to let her cancer get in the way of her life.
We're going to keep living our life without fear
of cancer, but we will remain on guard against a
reoccurrence. She, and by extension, I, are not
victims or patients but healthy adults enjoying our
lives.

Q:

What local charity or group has
made a difference for you?

We have a group of close, supportive friends.

Q:

Anything else?

I always knew how strong a woman I married,
but this reconfirmed it.

MAGAZINE

27



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Villages - October 2017

Contents
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover1
The Villages - October 2017 - Contents
The Villages - October 2017 - 1
The Villages - October 2017 - 2
The Villages - October 2017 - 3
The Villages - October 2017 - 4
The Villages - October 2017 - 5
The Villages - October 2017 - 6
The Villages - October 2017 - 7
The Villages - October 2017 - 8
The Villages - October 2017 - 9
The Villages - October 2017 - 10
The Villages - October 2017 - 11
The Villages - October 2017 - 12
The Villages - October 2017 - 13
The Villages - October 2017 - 14
The Villages - October 2017 - 15
The Villages - October 2017 - 16
The Villages - October 2017 - 17
The Villages - October 2017 - 18
The Villages - October 2017 - 19
The Villages - October 2017 - 20
The Villages - October 2017 - 21
The Villages - October 2017 - 22
The Villages - October 2017 - 23
The Villages - October 2017 - 24
The Villages - October 2017 - 25
The Villages - October 2017 - 26
The Villages - October 2017 - 27
The Villages - October 2017 - 28
The Villages - October 2017 - 29
The Villages - October 2017 - 30
The Villages - October 2017 - 31
The Villages - October 2017 - 32
The Villages - October 2017 - 33
The Villages - October 2017 - 34
The Villages - October 2017 - 35
The Villages - October 2017 - 36
The Villages - October 2017 - 37
The Villages - October 2017 - 38
The Villages - October 2017 - 39
The Villages - October 2017 - 40
The Villages - October 2017 - 41
The Villages - October 2017 - 42
The Villages - October 2017 - 43
The Villages - October 2017 - 44
The Villages - October 2017 - 45
The Villages - October 2017 - 46
The Villages - October 2017 - 47
The Villages - October 2017 - 48
The Villages - October 2017 - 49
The Villages - October 2017 - 50
The Villages - October 2017 - 51
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The Villages - October 2017 - 53
The Villages - October 2017 - 54
The Villages - October 2017 - 55
The Villages - October 2017 - 56
The Villages - October 2017 - 57
The Villages - October 2017 - 58
The Villages - October 2017 - 59
The Villages - October 2017 - 60
The Villages - October 2017 - 61
The Villages - October 2017 - 62
The Villages - October 2017 - 63
The Villages - October 2017 - 64
The Villages - October 2017 - 65
The Villages - October 2017 - 66
The Villages - October 2017 - 67
The Villages - October 2017 - 68
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover3
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover4
https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream_Vol6
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https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/DreamALittleDream-RRO
https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream_Vol3
https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream_Vol2
https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream
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