The Villages - October 2017 - 30

words of
wisdom
ron Nock, husband of sue Nock, breast cancer survivor

Q:

What were your thoughts initially after your
wife's breast cancer diagnosis?

Q:

How did you support her along the way?

Q:

How did breast cancer change your wife
and your marriage?

Sue was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. Cancer
was something that happened to "other people." Sue was
a super healthy person, in great shape and with a really
strong force of will. Although it was scary, I had no doubt
that she would be treated and be cured.

In retrospect, not very well. I was there for her
treatments. I was there to help with the post-treatment
nausea and fatigue. I was there to help with the house and
the kids. But, I behaved as an "engineer" (which I'm not),
analyzing and solving a problem. As such, I could have
been a much better listener and provided much better
emotional support ... and it's something that I would
suggest to others if they ever have to go through cancer
with their partner - be aware of and sensitive to their
needs.

Honestly, I don't think there was any change to our
marriage. Sue has always been focused on being healthy
and remains even more so to this day.

Q:

What kind of fears did you have and how
have you dealt with them?

Q:

What have you learned about life?

Q:

What surprised you most about the journey?

Q:

What are your plans for the future?

Q:

Anything else?

Of course the initial fears are things like what stage,
what grade and survivability, and does she have the best
doctors to attack the problem. So for me, knowledge was
power. Shortly after her diagnosis and meeting with her
team, my confidence was nearly 100 percent that she
would recover and as such, virtually all the fears went away.

Three things:
* If you or a partner are battling cancer or some other
serious situation, you should not underestimate the
importance of a positive, can-do, "will-defeat-9this"
attitude.
* If your partner is battling cancer or another serious
illness, they need you to be a good listener and to support
them in a way that enhances their positive attitude.
* We all spend too much time planning for the future or
thinking about the past. Carve out a little time to be
present and in the moment so that you experience and
enjoy what is around you now.
When it comes to cancer and especially breast
cancer, women have created such a strong support network
for each other that is so helpful to their emotional support,
knowledge, fundraising, lobbying, etc. Men could take a
lesson here.
At the time, her cancer was hard and it was an
"inconvenience," but the focus was on beating the cancer
and as such we never really changed our plans. Things like
cancer have a way of reminding you that life can change
at a moment's notice and so it is best to live your life to the
fullest and know that you will deal with challenges if and
when they happen.
We were very fortunate. Not only did Sue become
cancer free, but our insurance covered virtually
everything so that we weren't left with a crippling debt.
If it is true that we are shaped by our experiences in life,
then I now consider myself a champion for affordable
health care that allows people with serious illnesses
to focus on their recovery knowing that they won't
end up in bankruptcy.

30

OCTOBER 2017



Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of The Villages - October 2017

Contents
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover1
The Villages - October 2017 - Contents
The Villages - October 2017 - 1
The Villages - October 2017 - 2
The Villages - October 2017 - 3
The Villages - October 2017 - 4
The Villages - October 2017 - 5
The Villages - October 2017 - 6
The Villages - October 2017 - 7
The Villages - October 2017 - 8
The Villages - October 2017 - 9
The Villages - October 2017 - 10
The Villages - October 2017 - 11
The Villages - October 2017 - 12
The Villages - October 2017 - 13
The Villages - October 2017 - 14
The Villages - October 2017 - 15
The Villages - October 2017 - 16
The Villages - October 2017 - 17
The Villages - October 2017 - 18
The Villages - October 2017 - 19
The Villages - October 2017 - 20
The Villages - October 2017 - 21
The Villages - October 2017 - 22
The Villages - October 2017 - 23
The Villages - October 2017 - 24
The Villages - October 2017 - 25
The Villages - October 2017 - 26
The Villages - October 2017 - 27
The Villages - October 2017 - 28
The Villages - October 2017 - 29
The Villages - October 2017 - 30
The Villages - October 2017 - 31
The Villages - October 2017 - 32
The Villages - October 2017 - 33
The Villages - October 2017 - 34
The Villages - October 2017 - 35
The Villages - October 2017 - 36
The Villages - October 2017 - 37
The Villages - October 2017 - 38
The Villages - October 2017 - 39
The Villages - October 2017 - 40
The Villages - October 2017 - 41
The Villages - October 2017 - 42
The Villages - October 2017 - 43
The Villages - October 2017 - 44
The Villages - October 2017 - 45
The Villages - October 2017 - 46
The Villages - October 2017 - 47
The Villages - October 2017 - 48
The Villages - October 2017 - 49
The Villages - October 2017 - 50
The Villages - October 2017 - 51
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The Villages - October 2017 - 53
The Villages - October 2017 - 54
The Villages - October 2017 - 55
The Villages - October 2017 - 56
The Villages - October 2017 - 57
The Villages - October 2017 - 58
The Villages - October 2017 - 59
The Villages - October 2017 - 60
The Villages - October 2017 - 61
The Villages - October 2017 - 62
The Villages - October 2017 - 63
The Villages - October 2017 - 64
The Villages - October 2017 - 65
The Villages - October 2017 - 66
The Villages - October 2017 - 67
The Villages - October 2017 - 68
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover3
The Villages - October 2017 - Cover4
https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream_Vol6
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https://www.nxtbook.com/thevillages/TheVillages/ContinuingTheDream_Vol3
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