Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014 - (Page 57)
BEHAVIOR ∆ CHANGE
S TO P
C R E AT I N G DYS F U N C T I O N A L
R E L AT I O N S H I P S with E M P LOY E E S
- ANNE DRANITSARIS, PH.D. AND HEATHER DRANITSARIS-HILLIARD
Codependence broadly refers to dysfunctional
behavioral patterns that are a result of a
person's underlying fears of rejection, loss and
low self-worth. While it is common to hear
about codependence in personal relationships,
you rarely hear leaders referred to in this way.
However, many common leadership issues are
a direct result of a codependent relationship
with direct reports.
Codependent leaders unconsciously seek
relationships with others who make them
feel more capable, useful, powerful and less
anxious. They develop relationships where
they can be the dominant personality with
someone who will be submissive in the
relationship, thereby forming an emotional
attachment where the two people operate as
one with them feeling superior.
Codependent leaders can be successful at
achieving their business objectives, but not
their full potential. While they work steadily
to achieve goals, part of their attention and
energy is going into caretaking, supporting or
compensating for employees inadequacies.
Additionally, while it may not look like it, these
leaders make people decisions based on their
emotions and are easily thrown off course by
those of their employees, creating business
and team problems as a result.
SIGNS OF THE CODEPENDENT LEADER
BEHAVIOR LEADS TO
WHAT IS A CODEPENDENT LEADER?
A codependent leader is difficult to spot,
especially when they are in a senior role in
an organization or a successful entrepreneur.
At first glance, it usually looks as though
problems are a result of employees failing to
perform in their roles. But when you look at the
dynamic between the leader and their direct
reports, you begin to see that it is actually the
leader's behavior that is causing a disengaged
workforce, interpersonal problems between
team members and poor performance.
A codependent leader can operate from
either side of the spectrum, so it is important
to understand both their submissive and
dominant behaviors. The following are a few
examples of what codependent leaders tend
to do at work to create a dysfunctional work
environment and distress for their employees.
SUBMISSIVE CODEPENDENT LEADERS
* Engage in excessive cooperation and
inclusion, failing to make decisions
* Fail to give performance expectations
* Inflate the achievements of their direct
reports or excuse poor performance
* Fail to deal with poor performance
* Can't say "no" to employee requests, despite
the impact on other team members
DOMINANT CODEPENDENT LEADERS
* Foster dependency in employees by failing
* Avoid training and development for
themselves for fear of looking bad
* Overpower others when challenged or
* Hire incompetent employees that won't
* Take credit for achievement of employees
T R A I N I N G I N DUSTR Y MA GAZ INE - SPRING20 1 4 I WWW.TRAINI NGINDU S T RY . C OM/ MAGAZ I NE
CHANGING CODEPENDENT BEHAVIOR
dysfunctional relationships with employees
by doing the following:
* Learning to focus on issues, not
feelings. Coaching helps leaders shift
their attention to solving issues.
* Get or use an organization-wide
performance management or
development system that is linked to
planning and development. If you have
one, make sure leaders are using it.
* Stop compensating for poor performers
by doing their work. Training or coaching
on how to deliver performance correction
is needed to build this leaders confidence.
* Establish an accountability framework to
prevent leaders from making exceptions
and not following their systems.
* Create a leadership development
program that includes ongoing emotional
intelligence coaching. Coaching for senior
leaders is critical to setting the benchmark
for leadership performance.
When left unattended codependent
behavior leads to a dysfunctional workforce
and poor performance. Improving leadership
behaviors by managing their performance
and increasing their self-awareness ultimately
impacts the bottom line.
Anne Dranitsaris, Ph.D., & Heather DranitsarisHilliard are leading experts in personality and
behavioral change. They are the creators of
the Striving Styles® Personality System, and
authors of "Who Are You Meant To Be?" Email
Anne and Heather.
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014
From Where I Sit
Table of Contents
Guest Editor: Do You Feel Lucky?
Network Performance: The Power of Social Learning and Behavior
Meaningful Work: Not Just for Millennials
Four Levels of Engagement
What L&D Professionals Need to Know about Gamification
Enhancing Learning with Social Media
Gamification in Sales Training: Seven Critical Considerations Before the Games Begin
Let the Disruption Begin: Social Media and the Great Expansion of Enterprise Learning
Learning Made Fun: Gadgets, Games and a Safe Place to Explore
How Silicon Valley Inspired an Era of Social Learning
How Games Drive Learning
Roll the Dice: Learning with Board Games
Casebook: BAE Systems: Speeding the Business of Learning through Collaboration and Knowledge Management
Salespeople, Coaching and Gamification
Three Ways to Make Learning More Engaging
Stop Creating Dysfunctional Relationships with Employees
Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014