Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014 - (Page 57)

BEHAVIOR ∆ CHANGE S TO P C R E AT I N G DYS F U N C T I O N A L R E L AT I O N S H I P S with E M P LOY E E S - ANNE DRANITSARIS, PH.D. AND HEATHER DRANITSARIS-HILLIARD Codependence broadly refers to dysfunctional behavioral patterns that are a result of a person's underlying fears of rejection, loss and low self-worth. While it is common to hear about codependence in personal relationships, you rarely hear leaders referred to in this way. However, many common leadership issues are a direct result of a codependent relationship with direct reports. Codependent leaders unconsciously seek relationships with others who make them feel more capable, useful, powerful and less anxious. They develop relationships where they can be the dominant personality with someone who will be submissive in the relationship, thereby forming an emotional attachment where the two people operate as one with them feeling superior. Codependent leaders can be successful at achieving their business objectives, but not their full potential. While they work steadily to achieve goals, part of their attention and energy is going into caretaking, supporting or compensating for employees inadequacies. Additionally, while it may not look like it, these leaders make people decisions based on their emotions and are easily thrown off course by those of their employees, creating business and team problems as a result. SIGNS OF THE CODEPENDENT LEADER CODEPENDENT BEHAVIOR LEADS TO A DYSFUNCTIONAL WORKFORCE. WHAT IS A CODEPENDENT LEADER? A codependent leader is difficult to spot, especially when they are in a senior role in an organization or a successful entrepreneur. At first glance, it usually looks as though problems are a result of employees failing to perform in their roles. But when you look at the dynamic between the leader and their direct reports, you begin to see that it is actually the leader's behavior that is causing a disengaged workforce, interpersonal problems between team members and poor performance. A codependent leader can operate from either side of the spectrum, so it is important to understand both their submissive and dominant behaviors. The following are a few examples of what codependent leaders tend to do at work to create a dysfunctional work environment and distress for their employees. SUBMISSIVE CODEPENDENT LEADERS * Engage in excessive cooperation and inclusion, failing to make decisions * Fail to give performance expectations * Inflate the achievements of their direct reports or excuse poor performance * Fail to deal with poor performance * Can't say "no" to employee requests, despite the impact on other team members DOMINANT CODEPENDENT LEADERS * Foster dependency in employees by failing to delegate * Avoid training and development for themselves for fear of looking bad * Overpower others when challenged or questioned * Hire incompetent employees that won't challenge them * Take credit for achievement of employees T R A I N I N G I N DUSTR Y MA GAZ INE - SPRING20 1 4 I WWW.TRAINI NGINDU S T RY . C OM/ MAGAZ I NE CHANGING CODEPENDENT BEHAVIOR Codependent leaders can eliminate dysfunctional relationships with employees by doing the following: * Learning to focus on issues, not feelings. Coaching helps leaders shift their attention to solving issues. * Get or use an organization-wide performance management or development system that is linked to planning and development. If you have one, make sure leaders are using it. * Stop compensating for poor performers by doing their work. Training or coaching on how to deliver performance correction is needed to build this leaders confidence. * Establish an accountability framework to prevent leaders from making exceptions and not following their systems. * Create a leadership development program that includes ongoing emotional intelligence coaching. Coaching for senior leaders is critical to setting the benchmark for leadership performance. When left unattended codependent behavior leads to a dysfunctional workforce and poor performance. Improving leadership behaviors by managing their performance and increasing their self-awareness ultimately impacts the bottom line. Anne Dranitsaris, Ph.D., & Heather DranitsarisHilliard are leading experts in personality and behavioral change. They are the creators of the Striving Styles® Personality System, and authors of "Who Are You Meant To Be?" Email Anne and Heather. 57

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014

From Where I Sit
Table of Contents
Guest Editor: Do You Feel Lucky?
Network Performance: The Power of Social Learning and Behavior
Meaningful Work: Not Just for Millennials
Four Levels of Engagement
What L&D Professionals Need to Know about Gamification
Enhancing Learning with Social Media
Gamification in Sales Training: Seven Critical Considerations Before the Games Begin
Let the Disruption Begin: Social Media and the Great Expansion of Enterprise Learning
Learning Made Fun: Gadgets, Games and a Safe Place to Explore
How Silicon Valley Inspired an Era of Social Learning
How Games Drive Learning
Roll the Dice: Learning with Board Games
Casebook: BAE Systems: Speeding the Business of Learning through Collaboration and Knowledge Management
Salespeople, Coaching and Gamification
Three Ways to Make Learning More Engaging
Stop Creating Dysfunctional Relationships with Employees
What's Online
Company News

Training Industry Magazine - Spring 2014