Training Industry Magazine - March/April 2020 - 46

If we are not
teaching empathy
with empathy, we
are valuing content
over people.
Leaders are often faced with escalated
situations. We can start by asking about
their tendencies. Is it best to react first
or listen first? The "amygdala hijack"
coined by Daniel Goleman, which is
an immediate emotional response
that we later may wish we did not
have, is a great talking point. We can
share examples of what this looks like.
For example, the time Mike Tyson bit
Evander Holyfield's ear in the third round
of their heavyweight rematch in 1997, or
when Marcos Baghdatis smashed tennis
racquets at the 2012 Australian Open.
There are also a number of compilations
of celebrity meltdowns on YouTube to
choose from. Although, some are not
suitable for work.
Learning professionals can create
activities where leaders identify the
employees' feelings, ask questions about
them and listen for understanding. This
becomes a research and fact-finding
mission for a leader instead of simply
listening to the emotional employee.

Recognize
Your Power
Dacher Keltner, a professor of
psychology at University of California
Berkley, found that leaders who are
not self-aware exhibit behaviors that
get increasingly worse the higher they
climb. When these leaders become
more self-aware and work at focusing
on more empathetic behaviors, they
become more successful. You can read
some of his tips in his article, "Don't
Let Power Corrupt You." When leaders

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recognize and understand their power,
it is easier for them to understand that
they are responsible for the care and
development of other people and their
experience at work.
There is a direct connection between
empathy and people's ability to learn.
In fact, educational research shows
that people who receive empathy
from others at an early age develop a
higher capacity to learn. Empathy helps
learning and brain development while
simultaneously combating stress, and
we know high stress is a deterrent to
learning. A leader that understands
their power and uses it with a measure
of empathy, allows their employees to
bring their best selves to work each
day. They get more work done through
others, because employees feel seen,
heard and cared for.

Practice Empathy
Make practicing empathy a habit. Work
practicing the behaviors into everyday
work, and make a commitment to it.
Remember, empathy is a skill not a
trait. Thinking of it as a trait will not
allow you or your team to develop it
organically. Practicing and looking at
failures as learning opportunities will
get you closer and closer to success.
With each interaction, think about what
went well and how the opportunity to
be empathetic could have gone better.
Apologize if you need to; leaders are
human, too.

Teaching Empathy
with Empathy
Because we are purveyors of learning,
we should not forget that we need to
consider our own levels of empathy.
If we are not teaching empathy with
empathy, we are valuing content over
people. We must understand where
the leaders we are trying to impact are
in their learning journey, and engage
them with experiential and behavioral
content. Just giving them knowledge
is not enough. We need to teach the
concept and allow them to use it. We
need to help them create strategies

and plans. We must model empathy in
the classroom, and we need to define
feelings when there is push back.
Empathy drives retention. We cannot
think of empathy as something people
have or do not have. Empathy is a skill
we must drive and grow.
Loren Sanders is a senior manager in the
enterprise Learning and Development
Center of Excellence at CVS Health.
She an adjunct faculty member at Lake
Forest Graduate School of Management
where she teaches organizational
communications,
strategic
talent
management and leads the faculty
senate HR academic discipline
committee. Email Loren.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
FOR BUILDING YOUR
KNOWLEDGE OF EMPATHY
♥	"Wired to Care" by Dev Patniak
♥	"The Art of Empathy" by
Karla McLaren
♥	"Getting the Picture" by
David Nash
♥	"Empathy: Why It Matters and
How to Get It" by Roman Krznairc
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_we_should_teach_empathy_preschoolers https://www.hbr.org/2016/10/dont-let-power-corrupt-you https://www.hbr.org/2016/10/dont-let-power-corrupt-you
Training Industry Magazine - March/April 2020

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