Tree Farmer - March/April 2010 - (Page 20)

Dealing Family CLinT ties to the land By with Bentz every summer, we have forest fires here in the West. it is a natural result of a climate that gives us hot, dry summers. Given the right conditions, these fires help maintain the health of our forests. in the wrong conditions, they can destroy everything. Conflict Once a forest fire starts, it takes on a life of its own. It doesn’t matter how it started or who or what started it. With enough fuel and the right conditions, it will consume everything in its path. Family conflicts operate in much the same way. dredge up the memories of old battle scars and go off to war. Every relationship has conflict. Whenever two thinking people look at an issue, they will come to different opinions based on their life experiences, training, personality, and outlook on life. When these opinions collide, conflict occurs. Conflict is a necessary part of relationships. The world does not revolve around us! We have to learn to compromise and work with others to accomplish anything valuable in life. Most of us are uncomfortable with conflict, and instead of working together in a respectful and loving way to find a resolution to the issue, we fall back on a “fight or flight” response by either avoiding the conflict or fighting to make sure our idea wins out. We all carry around baggage from old hurts. When family members disagree with us, it’s easy to pile up old fuel from prior conflicts and get a fire going. Instead of doing the hard work of trying to understand each other better and find a common solution that works for everyone, we many times I have counseled many family members who have stopped speaking to each other, stopped listening to each other, stopped respecting each other, and shut their hearts to each other for reasons real and imagined. When you are in the bunker and taking incoming fire, the natural response is to either shoot back or hunker down and try to protect yourself. The sad thing is that in most cases each person wants the best for the other person, but just can’t seem to find good ways to communicate their care and concern for each other. Communication is difficult. Even if we are really paying attention and working hard at it, more often than not, what we say does not come across to the other person the way we intended. This is true on both sides. While these misunderstandings can be a cause for humor, many times they are the match that lights the fire. The 2002 National Outstanding Tree Farmer of the Year, and member of AFF’s board of trustees Clint Bentz, of Scio, Oregon, is a CPA; reach him at or (503) 769-2186. Tree Farmer MARCH/APRIL 2010

Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of Tree Farmer - March/April 2010

Tree Farmer - March/April 2010
Contents
Cover Story
Create a Recreational Trail
A Life Spent in the Woods
Ties to the Land
Public Policy
Wildlife Matters
From your Committees

Tree Farmer - March/April 2010