2022 Annual Impact Report - 6

Core Values in Action
By Deborah Miller, MA, LPC, Therapist
Recently Samaritan Counseling
Center launched a weekly psychotherapy
group for individuals navigating
addiction and recovery. We established
group guidelines during the first session
and gradually vulnerability and honesty
began to be exhibited. As the leader of
the group, I find myself looking forward
to these 90 minutes of openness and
accountability, of compassion and belonging. I have even seen
Samaritan's broader core values in action in group. Allow me
to explain:
Group members quickly learn they are not alone in their
addictions. Every week I hear one of them say to another,
" That's exactly how I feel! " When they first meet each other,
and with each new member that joins, they begin as strangers
and quickly become closer than friends. There is an amazing
amount of RESPECT on display every Tuesday night. We work
really hard on not " shoulding " on each other-or ourselves-
and just listening. Boy, do we listen!
For many, their addictions have contributed to difficulties
in relationships and lying to themselves and others. As they
get stronger in their recovery and build their supports in group,
they are more and more honest on Tuesday nights and with
their loved ones. There is a palpable impact on the group when
one reports that they relapsed but when confronted by a family
member " admitted their powerlessness " . It is the beginning
of INTEGRITY, something many think they have lost. And
rejoice when they find!
I can't tell you how many times I have heard, " I'm scared to
death to join a group. " It doesn't take long, and it is not without
hard work, but pretty soon they are sharing openly and not
missing a single week and declaring, " I couldn't wait to get to
group tonight! " It is sacred to see the lights go on in a person's
understanding of their addiction, their ability to trust me and
the other members and look at the GROWTH in themselves.
These are times we acknowledge the successes and continue
the hard work of recovery.
Before one of our first group meetings I shared a poem by
Steve Garnaas-Holmes entitled Bent. The poem ends with
these lines:
Fear will bend you down.
Love will raise you up.
Keep choosing love.
The gentle hand is on your back even now.
While the poet may have meant the " gentle hand " in the
figurative sense, I have also seen the physical hand on the
other's back or the hug after the meeting. Or the slip of paper
with the phone number on it. We talk a lot about HOPE in
group. We look for it nearly everywhere. Nearly all have found
it waiting for them in a basement classroom on a Tuesday night
where they thought they'd be met with shame.
The magic of group could not exist without TRUST. It
doesn't happen in one week or two, there's actually no perfect
number. But it shows up nearly every week. " I didn't think I was
going to share that tonight, " are some of the most powerful words
a member can say. Afterwards the weight is lifted, the burden
lessened. For an hour and a half if one has been honest with
himself/herself or saw another trust them, perspectives begin to
shift. Later, they might interrupt a trigger or offer themselves
forgiveness. They might call someone-someone they risked
getting to know-the next time they have an urge to use.
Sometimes my Tuesdays are 12 hour days. I may start with
meetings as early as 8:30 in the morning and not leave the
office until group is over and the chairs are put back and the
lights are turned off at 8pm. And these are good, hard days.
Holy days. Days of raw honesty and real tears. Days of growth
and change.
I am grateful.
Fear will bend you down.
Love will raise you up.
Keep choosing love.
The gentle hand is on your back
even now.
-Steven Garnaas-Holmes
6
2022 Annual Impact Report

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