GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 32
ask grand Bypassed for bio mom By LILLIan CarSon Suddenly, I’m not the “real” grandmother Q We adopted our daughter at birth and loved and cared for her throughout her life. I must admit our Scandinavian reserve was not always compatible with her outgoing personality, but we got along. She is now married. When she became pregnant, seeking health and genetic information, she looked for—and found—her biological mother. The two of them hit it off so well that my daughter chose her biological mother to be in the birthing room with her husband and her. I was not asked to be present. I am shocked and hurt and can’t believe I’ve been shunted aside in favor of this newly found biological mother. I don’t know what to do. —Heartbroken Grand A ThIS IS a ShoCkIng Turn of evenTS. I can only imagine the disbelief, sadness and anger you are experiencing. Many adopted children have longings for their biological parents in order to satisfy the need to know their origins. This knowledge is an integral building block in the formation of identity. The desire to connect with the biological parents to satisfy this need and fill in the blanks can be strong. I once treated an 11-year-old adopted girl who one day said wistfully, “I wish there were two of me.” When I asked why, she responded, “So one of me could be with my parents and the other with my birth parents.” Your daughter is evidently thrilled to have answers to lifelong, and possibly unexpressed, questions that only her biological mother can provide. However, their meeting comes at a vulnerable time. Your daughter’s new identity as a mother has, most likely, stimulated a stronger connection to her own genetic history. Hopefully, you can regain your rightful place in the lives of your daughter and your new grandbaby. Communication is key. Have a talk with your daughter at a time when you can put your anger and hurt aside and she is rested and comfortably in a routine. It is 32 GRAND JULY 2009 Click and connect to more resources instantly where you see this symbol:
GRAND Magazine - July 2009
Table of Contents for the Digital Edition of GRAND Magazine - July 2009
GRAND Magazine - July 2009
GRAND View
Contents
GRAND Central
Grands Across the Sea
O, Say, Can You Sing?
Hear and Now
Ask GRAND
GRAND’s 2009 Sexiest Granddads
Nailing It
Reader's Write
Resources
GRAND Finale
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - intro
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - GRAND Magazine - July 2009
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Cover2
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 3
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Contents
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 5
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 6
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 7
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 8
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 9
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 10
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 11
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 12
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - GRAND Central
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 14
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 15
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 16
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 17
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 18
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 19
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 20
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 21
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Grands Across the Sea
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 23
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 24
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 25
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 26
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 27
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - O, Say, Can You Sing?
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 29
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Hear and Now
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 31
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Ask GRAND
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 33
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - GRAND’s 2009 Sexiest Granddads
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 35
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 36
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 37
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 38
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 39
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 40
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 41
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Nailing It
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 43
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 44
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 45
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Reader's Write
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 47
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 48
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 49
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 50
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 51
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 52
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Resources
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - GRAND Finale
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - 55
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Cover3
GRAND Magazine - July 2009 - Cover4
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2024spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2024winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2023winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2022winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2021winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020fall_v2
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020summer
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020spring
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/2020winter
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20191112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20190102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112_drm
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20181112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20180102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20171112
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170910
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170708
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170506
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170304
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20170102
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20161112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20160102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20151112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20150102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201401112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20140102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20131112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20130102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20121112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20120102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20111112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20110102_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20101112_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100708_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100506_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20100304_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/201001_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200912_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200911_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200909_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200908_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200907_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200906_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200905_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20080910_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200904_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200903_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/200902_v3
https://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/grand/20081112_v6
https://www.nxtbookmedia.com