Elephants and Tea - Walgreens Special Edition - 21

Survivor Stories
FEELING LESS ALONE
Beyond the Reflection
BY ALEXA JETT
S
ix years ago, I looked
into my own eyes in a
Houston, Texas, hotel
mirror and found
that I did not recognize
myself.
My auburn hair remained, but thyroid
hormone suppression (TSH) therapy had
taken its toll. I had to be especially delicate
when shampooing now because, in
the short term, well . . . I would become
a sasquatch in the shower. After my hair
dried, I was left with thin, dull strands.
When I previously went to my hair stylist,
she would already have the thinning
shears sharpened. Now it became an
awkward and uncomfortable moment of
her stating, " No thinning today, because
. . . you know, the treatment. "
She typically followed up with positive
optimism, assuring me that therapy was
making a difference and was working,
which was the most important thing.
My skin was still pale; after all, I glow
in the dark. The cluster of freckles under
my eyes greeted me once more. But then
I started getting dry, scaly patches that
didn't appear to respond to any of the
remedies I tried.
My nails were still sparkling with glitter,
but they were covered with multiple
coats of nail polish to hide how thin and
brittle they had become.
The scar on my neck, which remained
red for much of the year and prompted
a Whataburger employee to ask whether
I had been the victim of a beheading
attempt, reminded me of what had
happened, but my entire body was a
reminder as well.
As I stood in front of the mirror getting
ready to go to the hospital for my
second Thyrogen injection, I reached for
my eyeshadow palette and got to work.
I settled on a coppery color scheme. A
little primer, a lot of mascara, and some
highlighter would undoubtedly restore
my confidence. However, it did not accomplish
what I had intended. Yes, I did
appear more glamorous. The cancer center
catwalk (or, um, halls) at the infusion
center was waiting for me. But that's not
why I grabbed my cosmetic bag.
It's because I desperately want to feel
like myself again. I missed Alexa before
she got sick. I missed using the thinning
shears, clipping my nails, and having
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