Council on Aging - Answers 2023 - 37

COUNCIL ON AGING - SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
n You're more frequently short-tempered,
angry, or resentful of the person in your care
n You have started to lose interest in things
you once enjoyed
How to Ask for Help
The process of asking for help can feel like the
most overwhelming part. Use the steps below to
make the requests go smoothly.
Step 1: Assess your needs
The first thing you should do is look at the
tasks that take your time and energy. Evaluate the
things that take a disproportionately high amount
to see where someone's help could add the most
value. On the other hand, are there any tasks that
give you a disproportionate amount of joy? Those
are worth noting as well.
Step 2: Ask for Help
This is the hard part. Asking for help, especially
from family, can require a bit of care. Here are
some tips to make the request go as smoothly as
possible:
Be Direct: When asking for help, it can be
tempting to " beat around the bush " so to speak.
Instead of masking your request, try a more direct
approach.
Be Realistic: If you've realized you need quite a
bit of help, it's important to remain realistic. Your
family and friends have commitments as well and
may not be able to fulfill all your needs. You can
request help, in that case, from multiple people, or
look to hire respite to fill the gaps.
Avoid Guilt: If you've become the primary
caregiver, you may feel resentful of the siblings/
relatives that aren't pulling equal weight. While it's
important that you voice your feelings, piling guilt
onto your loved ones may cause them to avoid the
situation entirely.
Make it Easy to Help You
n Open communication - maintain an open
line of communication that keeps your family
informed of your care schedule and tasks.
Documenting routines, doctor's appointments,
medication instructions, etc. can make it easy for
Council On Aging - Southern California | 714-479-0107 | www.coasc.org
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someone to step in when they're able.
n Be flexible - people are more likely to help
with tasks that align with their skills and interests.
n Be specific - if you have a specific request
for help, be specific about it. Instead of saying, " I
could use help with transport this week, " say, " I
need help with this week's grocery run. "
n Learn to say yes when someone offers help
or says some variation of, " let me know if there's
anything I can do. "
Recognize there is no weakness in asking for
help. Feel confident in your requests for assistance!
Articles & excerpts reprinted with permission from
the Caregiver Resource Center OC. The Caregiver
Resource Center OC is part of a statewide program
that serves as a free resource for caregivers in
California. For additional information call 1-800543-8312
or visit www.caregiveroc.org
CAREGIVING RESOURCES

http://www.caregiveroc.org http://www.coasc.org

Council on Aging - Answers 2023

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